Jaclyn Victor - Wajah

Berbumbungkan angkasa kelabu

Lantainya bumi retak seribu

Setiap langkah perjalananmu beronak berliku

Betapa berat mata memandang

Berat lagi menggalas bebannya

Belum sempat menitis ke pipi

Tangisan kering sendiri

Berkali tersungkur

Pandanganmu kabur

Namun azam 
meneruskan hidup 
tak pernah luntur

Engkaulah perwira di medan derita

Merentasi ranjau kehidupan dengan harapan

Luahan rasa derita jiwa

Pada wajah tiada rahsia

Menunggu malang berganti tuah

Usah kau berputus asa

Penggubah: Othman Mohamed

Lirik: Habsah Hassan

Original song: Wajah - Jaclyn Victor

**I heard this song again when I was eating in a restaurant today. Such a wonderful song and never fails to make me feel sad everytime. It is usually played as a theme song in TV3 Bersamamu program. I cried everytime I watch that program and stop watching it for several years. (because it's just too sad.)

We usually thought we are the ones who are suffering, being the unfortunate ones in our life, nobody had worse than us but if you saw the program, it shows you, that they are more unfortunate than us. We are complaining and making so much fuss out of it when what we have been through was just a scratch. They stumble and bleed, yet, they did not give up on hope and keep on living without complaining. 

So, we should be grateful of what we have now, even the little things. Someone out there are more unfortunate than us, had it worse than us, but still go on with their life even though it is a tough road to be in. (reminder to myself as well.)

-dz-

Movie Review : You're Not You

I just finished watching this at 3 o'clock in the morning and it really makes me cry a river. A very well-written story which involves a classical pianist who has been diagnosed with ALS (commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease) and a brash college student who becomes her caregiver. 

At the beginning of the movie, Kate (Hilary Swank) and Evan (Josh Duhamel) was somewhat hosting a small party, inviting their friends over in their minimalist modern home. You can see how madly in love the couple are with each other at this point. Everything sits accordingly and everything turns out well until Kate takes on the piano. Being a concert pianist before, she made a few slips and find her hands shaking uncontrollably after she ended playing. 

Then, it was fast-forward to a year and a half later, where Kate's disease began to worsen and needs help in taking care of her necessities. After firing a nurse which makes Kate feels like a patient, Bec (Emmy Rossum) takes in the job in assisting Kate in her everyday life. Afterwards, they find themselves exploring new territory, facing down regrets and direction in learning about who they are. 

There is one part where her disease got worse and the ability of speaking is deterioting, Hillary portrays the character's physical disabilities with incredible detail. Rossum was also a great supporting actress in this movie. Being the spoil, spiritless girl at the beginning, she turns to an increasingly effective character afterwards by settling down to a more believable character. Finding her direction or idea who she wants to be while taking care of an ALS patient that leads her to find strength to perform what she love the most afterwards. Besides that, Josh's performance was also applaudable as a spouse who is also suffering from her wife's terminal illness. 

The setting in this movie, the location and cinematography was really nice and has that modern minimalistic feel to it. In my opinion, the story is indeed well-written (at least for me). The terminal illness which has no chance of recovery is such a sad moment take in. The movie did open up to me as I did not really know how an ALS patient was suffering, how does the disease work and what are the activities they will enjoy. It also made me read up about the ALS disease. 

Overall, the brilliant performance by the cast and the complexity of emotion portrays will make an empathetic audience moved to tears. 

Well, I did. 

-dz-

Sama Manusia

Kau lelaki,
aku perempuan.
Cukup sifat,
sama manusia.

Kenapa hendak merendahkan 

sesama sendiri sedangkan saling memerlukan?
Mengapa hendak berkata besar,
menunjukkan kekuatan diri,
sedangkan ilmu di dada itu cetek sekali?

Aku tidak kisah,
memang sejak azali diciptakan
kudrat kita memang berbeza.
Kau lagi teguh,
aku lagi rapuh.

Aku faham.

Tetapi,
aku bukan diciptakan
mengikut membuta tuli
segala telunjukmu,
yang angkuh
lagi sombong.

Bagai orang suruhan
yang mengiyakan segala diperkatakan,
mengikut apa saja diperintahkan.

Maaf,
kau salah.
Aku bukan begitu.

Sebaliknya,
aku tahu di mana
tempat ku berdiri,
bila aku harus
mempertahankan diri.

Daripada segelintir golongan kau,
yang tak pernah sudah,
memandang sipi terhadap diriku
yang lebih tahu.

Bukan nak menunjuk pandai,
apa yang lebih, aku kongsikan.
Apa yang ada, aku berikan.

Tidak pula kau,
hanya sekadar merahsiakan,
untuk diri sendiri.
Yang lain tidak dihiraukan.

Tiada sekelumit rasa
mahu menandingi kau,
untuk berada di atas,
membuat kau terkapai-kapai.

Tidak.

Tapi mahu kau lebih memahami,
boleh dibawa berbincang,
menurunkan ego kau yang tinggi
yang sudah lama
bersarang dalam diri.

Kerana kita
sama manusia,
kau dan aku
tiada beza.

28 Mac 2015, 12.03pm.

-dz-

Kau Bukan Begitu

Bila kau percaya pada diri,
mereka takkan ada selalu
di dalam bayanganmu.

Lihat tepat di dalam diri,
di setiap semua luka,
di setiap semua duka,
kau tetap di sini.

Pernah tersungkur
lalu jatuh
mencium bumi.

Tetapi kau
tak pernah mengalah.
Di setiap lelah,
kau bangun
tak mengalah.

Akhirnya, berdiri
walau dalam kesakitan.
Biar berdarah,
itu yang beri kekuatan.
Sakit itu hanya sementara,
itu yang membentuk kita.

Jangan sesekali
biarkan ia pudar.
Semangatmu,
usahamu.

Biarkan mereka
berkata,
kerana mereka
tak pernah tahu.
Di setiap jatuh,
di setiap bangunmu.

Asalkan di dada
kau tahu,
itu sudah cukup.

Kau bukan begitu.

27 Mac 2015, 2.01a.m.

-dz-

Pelik

Pelik,
setiap kali aku merasa dekat dengan seseorang,
setiap kali terdetik di hati ingin meluahkan,
setiap kali aku ingin percaya,
kecundang.

Sukarnya mendapatkan yang setia,
sukarnya mendapatkan yang
benar-benar ikhlas.
Pandangan mata,
cara percakapan,
semuanya cepat berubah.

Tetapi tidak bagi yang mengetahui,
bukan serba-serbi
tetapi semuanya di dalam hati.

Itu yang kekal.
Itu yang tinggal.

Mengucapkan kata,
mendengar keluhan rasa,
walau selalu berjauhan,
tetapi lebih memahami,
lebih jujur di sanubari.

Daripada mereka yang selalu
berdampingan di sisi,
hanya mendengar sepatah,
tetapi berkata tak sudah.

23 Mac 2015, 10.11 p.m.

-dz-

Sudden

I was about to put down my armour for you, 
but then I see a sudden changed 
in your eyes.

Now,
I see the real you. 

-dz-

A Ray of Sunlight

Sometimes the darkness
has become what we are.
We have been in it for so long,
we had become fond of it.

A little ray of sunlight
might seem compelling,
fascinating to see.
But sometimes it can be uneasy,
a discomfort to the eye.

Because we had been too fond
of the darkness,
when light tries to make through 
its way all at once,
it causes pain, unintentionally.

Although
we are glad
to get out from the darkness,
but it just takes time 
to properly breathe in the sunlight
as the darkness
has become one
with our skin.

When the right time comes,
the darkness will no longer be there.
That is when you know,
you are letting go all of it
utterly,
completely.

-dz-

BOSAN : Sebuah Puisi Di Dalam Kelas

Bosan,
disini
duduk seakan patung.

Bosan, 
hari ini
tiada apa yang menarik.

Masuk telinga kiri,
keluar telinga kanan.
Apa yang dia katakan
seakan tidak masuk akal.

Aku menunggu,
disini
melihat masa
berlalu setiap saat.

Terlalu lama, terlalu lama,
detik waktu berjalan.

Aku,
yang lemah ini
hanya boleh mencoret
kata-kata di atas kertas
mengatakan aku teramat bosan. 

-dz-

War

Everybody's at war with different things,

I'm at war with my own heart 

sometimes.

-thegoodquote

Ji Chang Wook - Empty and Next Story

Usually, the beginning of things start from emptiness. 

When you look at a bowl that can contain sumptuous food or a simple meal,just like an actor that “contains” the life of others in place of them, you sense a strange kinship. 

When “containing” the brilliant days of youth or the life of someone who has had a hard day,I “empty” myself in order to stand on yet another path. 

To me, “emptying” myself is the leisurely feeling of filling up my notebook with my daily life orthe freedom of travelling towards an unfamiliar place with light footsteps,enjoying my time alone in a place filled with the scent of wood, and the joy of meeting up with good people sometimes. 

Meeting a Me whom I cannot even imagine, and when I discover a certain possibility within that Me, I have become yet another Me. 

Just like a bowl that differs in depth and colour depending on the scent,alas, through the single process of filling up, emptying and dyeing, a unique colour of mine is created. 

Like that, I’m newly “filled up” once again.

The narration is very profound and hard to understand at first glance (and also a headache to find the right English words for the translation). In essence, the actor is being compared to a bowl here. Just like how a bowl can be “emptied”, “filled up” and be used to “contain” many different things, an actor also has to “empty” his emotions of a character after a show ends, then “fill up” himself with new emotions for a new show, thus effectively “containing” a new character within him. Hope this helps in making things clearer. 

NOTE: 

I really like how the writer writes those words and compare it to an actor or actress. I think it's a wonderful metaphore to compare with because it does portrays how an actor or actress have to fill in the emotion of a character and cast a way that particular character when it's over. It's like we eat something in a bowl that contains different types of food. Of course it'll taste different everytime you eat because the type food is differ and so does the bowl. 

To be honest, I found this video because of Ji Chang Wook. (An avid fan here!) But it turns out I fell in love with the script, those words, metaphore and not forgetting the bowl. Hahaha. =)

I really am in love with Ji Chang Wook right now. I've watched Healer and now Empress Ki (which is AWESOMEE!), I really have to say that Ji Chang Wook is quite talented in acting. In Healer, he portrays that mysterious kind of guy and in Empress Ki, I have to say, that Emperor's character was probably one of the most complex character in the drama that I've seen so far. One moment he was sad, one moment he was acting like a brat, one moment he was happy and so much more. To be honest, I think he is much more better than Lee Min Ho and Kim Soo Hyun. I'm not hating on them, in fact I like them, they're good but I think Ji Chang Wook can grasp and portrays the emotion slightly better. :D

And so, to conclude, I really like the words, the script and metaphore in this mv. The writer really did a great job with the script and also the mv is totally an eye candy. Good job! :D 

(Not forgetting, Ji Chang Wook is totally killing me with those stares. *faints*)

**Translation source: Ji Chang Wook's Kitchen
**Watch the video here: Ji Chang Wook's (Empty and Next Story)