Tetapi Sampai Bila?

Memang akan ada, 

yang tak mungkin memahami diri ini,

walau diungkapkan berulang kali,

mereka masih tidak mengerti. 

Terkadang mereka mengambil mudah,

perkara yang berkaitan dengan hati,

menyuruh itu dan ini

tidak sekali pun terdetik,

dalam akal yang mereka yang cetek itu,

untuk memahami dan mengerti. 

Kita diberi akal, 

untuk berfikir.

Kita diberi hati,

untuk merasai.

Kalau disakiti, 

kita harap yang lain 

turut merasakannya,

kerana kau mahu mereka memahami,

kesakitan yang kau alami.

Jikalau begitu, 

kenapa tak mahu memahami?

Manusia memang sadis.

Manusia itu hipokrit. 

Hati ini kadangkala letih,

menerima segala,

memahami segalanya.

Pada saat ini,

pada saat yang akan datang,

mungkin, 

hati ini, 

masih lagi boleh menerima.

Tetapi sampai bila?

15 Mei 2015, 2.30p.m.

-dz-

Tatkala Ini

Tatkala ini ku berasa sepi,
Dikala tiada yang menemani di sisi.
Semuanya pergi jauh,
jauh dariku yang kerdil ini.

Terkadang ku terfikir
kegembiraan itu
bukan bersama ku,
akan tetapi
bersama yang lain.

Yang lagi indah
dan petah,
dalam berbicara,
memetik kata-kata.

Mungkin itu yang diinginkan,
mungkin itu juga yang mahu didengarkan.

Aku hanya sekadar
tempat mendengar,
tetapi tidak pula sebaliknya.

Kerana jelas sekali,
apa yang ku rasa,
bukan seperti
apa yang mereka rasa.
Mereka hanya
memekakkan telinga,
memalingkan muka.

Sunyi.
Itu yang ku rasakan saat ini.

Tatkala hujan
membasahi bumi,
menjadi peneman sejati
hati ini.

29 April 2015, 4.31p.m.

-dz-

Kenny G (feat. Robin Thicke) - Fall Again

It feels like a fire that burns in my heart
Every single moment that we spend apart.
I need you around for every day to start;
I haven't left you alone.

There's something about you, it's there in your eyes,
Everything I'm looking for I seem to find.
All this time away is killing me inside -
I need your love in my life.

I want to spend time 'til it ends,
I want to fall with you again.
Like we did when we first met,
I want to fall with you again.

We fought in a battle, but nobody won,
And now we face a mountain to be overcome.
You can't turn away: the past is said and done;
I need us to carry on.

I want to spend time 'til it ends,
I want to fall with you again.
Like we did when we first met,
I want to fall with you again.

You'll try everything
You never thought would work before.
When you live for, you love and you give 'em your all,
You can always give 'em some more.

Baby, nothin' means anything
Unless you're here to share with me.
I can breathe, I can bleed, I can die in my sleep
'Cause you're always there in my dreams.

I want to spend time 'til it ends,
I want to fall with you again.
Like we did when we first met,
I want to fall with you again.

Lyric source: http://www.metrolyrics.com/fall-again-lyrics-kenny-g.html

**This song has been on repeat for quite sometime on my phone. Originally was sang by our dear Michael Jackson. It was composed, written and produced by Robin Thicke and Walter Afanasieff. 

Robin Thicke's voice has that soul which you rarely hear nowadays. Kenny G even said that, "His voice is so emotional and soulful, the combination of his voice and my saxophone really hits the perfect tones for my new album." Such a sexy yet soothing song and with that saxophone playing, adds in more emotion and soul in it. 

Love it! <3

-dz-

Movie Review : The Trials of Cate McCall

Cate McCall (Kate Beckinsale) becomes an alcoholic lawyer after she sent an innocent man to prison thinking that he was guity. Before that, she was a hotshot lawyer but now she is recovering from being an alcoholic and on probation because of her argument with the judge who sent her to Breathalyzer test. The judge then put her on probation in a small office. She, on the other hand, wants to win back the custody of her child who is now living with her father. Therefore, she has to take on an appeal case of a women who are wrongly accused of murdering another women. To show that she deserve the custody of her child, leading a stable life and to be reinstated back to the bar. 

It was a really nice movie. Clichè but with a little bit of twist. The tension of the story is good and it keeps the mystery alive until at the end of the movie. Being a lawyer is such a difficult task because you do not know whether your clients are telling you the truth or the other way around. It is the duty of the lawyer to defend the case that they take on no matter which side they are in. To balance up the personal life outside of the court rooms and inside is a multi-task job. 

For Cate McCall, it was difficult to balance both work and personal. She never loses a case and always on the winning team list. But after that case she took on, 12 years ago, she found out that the man she puts in prison was innocent and that kills her bits by bits. Now, she was given a similar appeal case. As she investigates with her friend, Bridges ( Nick Nolte), the evidence points out that Lacey Stubbs (Anna Anissimova), her client, is innocent and the case is just a cover up for the police mistakes. But is she really guilty or will Cate made another mistake again just like she did with the previous one? It is something that keeps us wondering until the end of the movie. 

I would say that Kate was totally flawless in her acting in this one. Plus, she is seriously gorgeous and I like how she acts as a mother who tried to get her own daughter to like her to being the serious, hardworking lawyer that would do anything to win the case for her clients. This kind of movie which involves the lawyers and court rooms usually are appealing to me because of the evidences has been touched and altered, there were police involvement in it, the twist and turns in the court room, how the lawyer interrogate the witnesses and so much more. It takes a good script to write an engaging conversations between them to make the audience stays the same pace with the movie and does not get bored with it. The characters and the plot is well developed in this movie and the plot twist will surprise the audience. 

On the final note, the movie actually tells us about the things that revolves around us in everyday life. Manipulation from those people who looked innocent on the outside, added with their sad stories, making us believe in them when we are not supposed too. It takes instinct and do what your heart feels the best to separate those who are innocent and guilty. Besides, it also portrays about second chances. To prove yourself to others, even though you may have make a bad decision before. One mistakes does not and will not bring you down, if you do not let them be. 

One thing that I learned from the movie is that, whatever things that does not go according to our way, do not blame others for it. If we keep on putting the blame on others, then we do not see what is flawed in ourselves. Hence, we will not be able to move forward and fix those thing to become a better person. It is a matter of choice. Be better or be worse. Just do not give up until you find your own specialty. Find that special thing in you, look deep down into yourself and hold on to it. 

At least, you do not give up, right? <3

-dz-

BEBAS

Bebas.

Pada luarannya,
pada zahirnya,
kita bebas.

Tetapi di sebalik jasad yang bernyawa,
tersimpan segumpal daging
yang bernama hati.

Di usia muda,
laksana kain putih,
gelak ketawa,
riuh-rendah suasana,
semuanya seakan tiada cela,
sempurna.

Lama-kelamaan,
ia bertukar menjadi hitam,
dek sesetengah manusia,
yang melemparkan
warna-warna kelam.
Menjadi perbuatan norma
sesama manusia,
yang akhirnya
menodai jiwa.

Jadi tanya pada diri,
Bebaskah hati ini
daripada hasad dengki?
Bebaskah hati ini
daripada meninggi diri?
Menghakimi seseorang bagai Tuhan,
berdendam dan buruk sangka
pada yang lain,
untuk menampakkan diri lebih baik.

Kotoran warna-warna kelam itu
akan selalu ada,
jika tidak dibasuh
dengan penyesalan.
Dendam, riak,
jika tidak dijauhkan
menjadi bara api
yang makin sukar
dipadamkan.

Sering terkurung,

hati ini,
terpagar dengan cinta duniawi,
yang asyik bak ilusi.
Membuatkan kita lalai,

leka seketika
tanpa kita duga.

Kini,
kebanyakannya bebas
pada zahirnya,
luaran saja.

Tetapi di dalam hati
mereka terperangkap,
tidak bebas,
sepenuhnya.

3 April 2015, 11.46pm

#contestfrostbite2 #notetoself

-dz-

Jaclyn Victor - Wajah

Berbumbungkan angkasa kelabu

Lantainya bumi retak seribu

Setiap langkah perjalananmu beronak berliku

Betapa berat mata memandang

Berat lagi menggalas bebannya

Belum sempat menitis ke pipi

Tangisan kering sendiri

Berkali tersungkur

Pandanganmu kabur

Namun azam 
meneruskan hidup 
tak pernah luntur

Engkaulah perwira di medan derita

Merentasi ranjau kehidupan dengan harapan

Luahan rasa derita jiwa

Pada wajah tiada rahsia

Menunggu malang berganti tuah

Usah kau berputus asa

Penggubah: Othman Mohamed

Lirik: Habsah Hassan

Original song: Wajah - Jaclyn Victor

**I heard this song again when I was eating in a restaurant today. Such a wonderful song and never fails to make me feel sad everytime. It is usually played as a theme song in TV3 Bersamamu program. I cried everytime I watch that program and stop watching it for several years. (because it's just too sad.)

We usually thought we are the ones who are suffering, being the unfortunate ones in our life, nobody had worse than us but if you saw the program, it shows you, that they are more unfortunate than us. We are complaining and making so much fuss out of it when what we have been through was just a scratch. They stumble and bleed, yet, they did not give up on hope and keep on living without complaining. 

So, we should be grateful of what we have now, even the little things. Someone out there are more unfortunate than us, had it worse than us, but still go on with their life even though it is a tough road to be in. (reminder to myself as well.)

-dz-

Movie Review : You're Not You

I just finished watching this at 3 o'clock in the morning and it really makes me cry a river. A very well-written story which involves a classical pianist who has been diagnosed with ALS (commonly known as Lou Gehrig’s Disease) and a brash college student who becomes her caregiver. 

At the beginning of the movie, Kate (Hilary Swank) and Evan (Josh Duhamel) was somewhat hosting a small party, inviting their friends over in their minimalist modern home. You can see how madly in love the couple are with each other at this point. Everything sits accordingly and everything turns out well until Kate takes on the piano. Being a concert pianist before, she made a few slips and find her hands shaking uncontrollably after she ended playing. 

Then, it was fast-forward to a year and a half later, where Kate's disease began to worsen and needs help in taking care of her necessities. After firing a nurse which makes Kate feels like a patient, Bec (Emmy Rossum) takes in the job in assisting Kate in her everyday life. Afterwards, they find themselves exploring new territory, facing down regrets and direction in learning about who they are. 

There is one part where her disease got worse and the ability of speaking is deterioting, Hillary portrays the character's physical disabilities with incredible detail. Rossum was also a great supporting actress in this movie. Being the spoil, spiritless girl at the beginning, she turns to an increasingly effective character afterwards by settling down to a more believable character. Finding her direction or idea who she wants to be while taking care of an ALS patient that leads her to find strength to perform what she love the most afterwards. Besides that, Josh's performance was also applaudable as a spouse who is also suffering from her wife's terminal illness. 

The setting in this movie, the location and cinematography was really nice and has that modern minimalistic feel to it. In my opinion, the story is indeed well-written (at least for me). The terminal illness which has no chance of recovery is such a sad moment take in. The movie did open up to me as I did not really know how an ALS patient was suffering, how does the disease work and what are the activities they will enjoy. It also made me read up about the ALS disease. 

Overall, the brilliant performance by the cast and the complexity of emotion portrays will make an empathetic audience moved to tears. 

Well, I did. 

-dz-