Fool

In a busy street,
In a busy road,
All I want is
to go back home.

Waiting and waiting, 
Day by day,
As the time pass by,
I'm still standing in the rain.

Leaving without a word,
Leaving without a sign,
A whisper in my heart says,
It's all going to be fine. 

Eventually, 
You weren't coming back. 
And I just smile because
I knew I was a fool 
all this while. 

-dz-

Puzzle

She solves puzzle.
Taking each one of it with care.

Slowly,
one by one.

The picture begins to form.
Or at least half of it.

Patiently like she always did,
she's almost there. 

It seems easier now,
much more unwind.

Like a shot, 
it shatters.

21 February 2016, 6:21pm

-dz-

November, 2015

She needs to lower down
her expectations
so that she can face reality.

For everyone she met
never will be
what she really need.

-dz-

Thoughts

In this busy street,
I am left alone with my thoughts.

My thoughts that are higher
than the buildings,
wider than the sky.

People passing by
I'm wondering
what's on their mind.

Happiness, loneliness, frustration, sadness,
the list goes on
as you can't really predict
what you don't see beneath.

It's always been that way,
I've always been the small one,
next to others, the supporting friend.

But someday,
the small one will fade out,
tired and began to lose its way.

Too many things will happen
blocking out the way,
and leaving them
to clean up the mess.

That will spend their soul
eventually
but not their thoughts
that lives on for
eternity.

20 February 2014.

-dz-

Change

The world is vast­ly chang­ing.
But the thing that hurts the most
is that peo­ple too are chang­ing with it.

They were no longer those peo­ple that we knew.
They were no longer the per­son
whom they said they were be­fore.

A change or changes can be good.
But to change what was once prom­ise
is almost hard to take in.


6 July 2014.

-dz-

October Grace

I didn't feel like myself lately,
It feels like something is missing. 
Part of me is aching to find that something
which I don't even know where to begin.

It's fascinating yet excruciating,
to be able to feel all of it tremendously.
I'm left here all alone
with no one to hold on. 

Everything keeps on crumbling,
crushing and breaking. 
Who am I?
What am I searching? 

Life has been a lie,
and I don't know where to begin with.
For what I wanted now is to run,
but my legs wouldn't give in. 

The air in my lungs have long gone,
I can't properly breathe, 
sometimes it suffocates me,
choking me with reality.

It will hurt much more deeper,
cuts through slowly within ,
when silence is being said
but clearly,
the truth is in front to see.

But at the end, 
does it matter? 
Have the questions being answered?

Sometimes, I hate myself for feeling this way.
The truth will never be
as beautiful as I want it to be. 
Even lies will eventually turns ugly. 

But will I be able to let go of it?
Will I keep it as a burden in my heart?
Will I choose to drown myself 
and dwell in it?

Not many can do it.
Not many are able to go through it. 
People sometimes need someone 
who they can blame on.
It is easier like that.

But I need to do this.
To be able to let go 
the things that's been suffocating in my heart,
to be able to be free again, 
and live my life the way it is. 

Forgive.

23 May 2015, 3.55 a.m. 
-dz-

**Author's note: The poem is based upon a movie called "October Baby". The movie was released in 2012. Well, I thought that it was truly a deep and inspiring movie. Hence, it has inspired me to write a poem about it. <3

I Told You

I told you 
because I needed 
someone to talked to.

I told you 
because I needed 
to take this burden out
from my chest.

I told you 
because 
I trusted you.

Guess, I was wrong.

You betrayed 
what we had.

You betrayed 
the trust that I gave.

For another,
who is much more important.

For you,
I'm not that person
from the very beginning. 

12 June 2015, 3.57am
-dz-

A Ray of Sunlight

Sometimes the darkness
has become what we are.
We have been in it for so long,
we had become fond of it.

A little ray of sunlight
might seem compelling,
fascinating to see.
But sometimes it can be uneasy,
a discomfort to the eye.

Because we had been too fond
of the darkness,
when light tries to make through 
its way all at once,
it causes pain, unintentionally.

Although
we are glad
to get out from the darkness,
but it just takes time 
to properly breathe in the sunlight
as the darkness
has become one
with our skin.

When the right time comes,
the darkness will no longer be there.
That is when you know,
you are letting go all of it
utterly,
completely.

-dz-

The Lost Love

A lost love is like unspoken words
You can feel that it is there but unable to utter words
The world moves at such fast pace
Have you ever wondered things that you've lost along the way?

Abandoning those important little things
That may be just what you need
Just like love lost in the corner of the road
Where it is hidden in a space of their own

It has been there for a while
But we never really wonder why
It slips away from our grip
That's when we began to think

With one word it can lead to another
Regrets can lead in after

Now it is crystal clear

Pieces starts to fall in place
It slowly fades away though
The lost love I should have known.

-dz-

Fake

"To all those fake human beings. This poem shouts out for you."

So tell me,

how does it feel faking an insincere smile?

how does it feel when you make people cry?

how does it feel to be the saviour of the day

when the fact is you're the one to blame.

Do you feel powerful?

Do you feel strong?

Because with this silence 

it proves that you're wrong.

So wrong that you keep on talking

and that talking are full of nothing.

Go on with your life, 

your pity pathetic little life that you own. 

For it is lifeless without stepping on others 

most importantly, faking to be decent. 

Karma will come around for sure 

and find your most vulnerable act 

for you ain't nothing, 

nothing but a total piece of trash.

-dz-

I Know

I know,
That the feeling is there.
But why, oh why,
I couldn't trust your eyes.

Because everytime I talk to you,
You seem to look at others.
Not straight at me,
Not straight in the eyes.

I couldn't trust you,
and that's just the thing.

It's been holding back
my heart from you,
And you don't know 
how it feels.

That feeling is there, 
I'm sure,
We both can feel it.
But it's the best that it stays there.

Unspoken.
Stagnant. 

-dz-

Strangers With Memories

Time and space had driven us apart.

We didn’t realize that then

because we were too busy chasing

something that was beyond our reach.

We had made us like this.

Strangers with memories.

-dz-

We Knew

I was your breeze that stayed for awhile,

and you were my sky that I'll never be able to reach.

These two things cannot be together,

How can we expect us to be together,

when we knew it all along 
we couldn't have it.

-dz-

Paradise of Love

The word "I Love You" not often to be said
But somehow, in someways you that it's there
Action speaks louder than words
So there's no need to say the three words very often.

Random things and a simple joke in our conversation
Will do to make my day
Rather than receiving a text message saying, "Have a nice day!"

As long as I know that your heart is with me
No matter how far we are apart,
I'll know that somewhere, somehow
You'll think of me

The seed of our love grows beyond our expectation
The pride of our love remains unbroken
Our happiness and sadness, anger and grief,
Without saying a word,
We both can feel it

Cherish the moment we have like there's no tomorrow
With that we would never regret the things that we miss on our journey
To a paradise that we called LOVE,
When there's only you and me.

-dz-

Gray

Black and white,
I'm in between.

I'm not mysterious nor I'm lively.
I can stand strong and be bold
without ever blending in.

Lack of emotion, lack of warmth,
feeling isolated and detached
that's what I do the best.

Emotionless and motionless,
as my soul has been tainted.

Slowly it turns to gray
and will never be
the center of attention.

I'm separated,
but as you look within,
you could clearly see
what I really feel.

I'm not clearly defined
as I've been told,
but one thing you should know,
between black and white
lies the color of my soul.

-dz-

Meaningless

Living a meaningless life would be something easy to do.

Day by day, going around with nothing in hand,

nothing in mind,

nothing to feel in this soul of mine.

How do I get here?

How do I end up in this mess?

People deserve to live a life,

I deserve to live a life.

Life that I'll cherished,

life that I've dreamed of.

But there's a time,

when I forgot what's the point of living?

Why do we live?

I start to question myself,

Asking questions knowing there's no answers to it.

At that point of time,

life is meaningless,

life has no value.

A person whom go on without knowing the reason

has no hope on surviving,

no hope for living.

Passing the days like they are nothing,

watching every moment mindlessly,

when others struggle to live for a day.

So why do I live?

Is it for the sake that I'm still breathing?

Is it for the sake that I'm not dying?

If air is what I needed,

it wouldn't be enough to relieved the suffocating in this chest

that's been too numb to feel a thing,

to numb to feel the heart beating.

The world of mine is meaningless.

I'll soon be meaningless.

-dz-

Poem Based On A Film Called HERO (2002)

A Doubtful Story

Two different words,

Two different meaning,

Emotion and colors

become one to tell a story.

Different path,

Different point of views,

Where lies and truth

remains in doubtful.

The king’s palace,

Black or grey,

marks the beginning,

marks the end.

Lies dwell in red jealousy,

Vengeance begins with hatred,

In this darkest state,

trust is shattered.

Sanity comes into the story

as the sacrifice of blue Sky

seems realistic,

seems more legit.

Innocence of youth

cannot fake the white truth.

Mourning of draught

will soon end

as my tears slowly

begins to shed.

Doubtful

will no longer be there,

because the truth is in front to see

Peace in this heart

is all what we need.

-dz-

Fake

I just have to say that this human being is freaking annoying, acting fake and decent and all that stuff fake people does.  So yeah.
Enjoy!=)

So tell me,
how does it feel faking an insincere smile
how does it feel when you make people cry
how does it feel to be the saviour of the day
when the fact is you're the one to blame.

Do you feel powerful?
Do you feel strong?

Because with this silence it proves that you're wrong
so wrong that you keep on talking
and that talking are full of nothing.

Go on with your life,
your pity pathetic little life that you own
for it is lifeless without stepping on others
most importantly, faking to be decent.

Karma will come around for sure
and find your most vulnerable act
for you ain't nothing,
nothing but a piece of crap.

-dz-

Lost

There's no direction to where I go,

I'm lost, afraid and cold

Initially it was clear, the path where I'm heading

But suddenly it felt vague, hazy and blurry

The will of my spirit has lost along the way

I couldn't find the strength

I couldn't find the light

In the cold dark night where nothing comes to sight

I'm lost

I'm lost in search of my own.

 - dz-